Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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