sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
