glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
