If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
