its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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