yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
