wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
