Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
