No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
