Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
