that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
