omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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