Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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