I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
