Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
