I didn't shave. On purpose
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
