3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize