two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
