Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You made out with two different species that night
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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