Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
false alarm. still invincible.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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