what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
