from now on my penis is your penis
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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