My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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