Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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