Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
should my penis look like a turkey
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
