This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
