I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
