Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
