in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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