is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
