are you still at the devil's house?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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