Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
