I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
