We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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