I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
