Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize