trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
