her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just want nice things and good sex
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
