I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Less talking, more tequila
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
