dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
