I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my poor anus
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize