I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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