yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
