You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize