You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
