Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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