the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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