With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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