Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
