You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
