Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
