Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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