I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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