she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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