from now on my penis is your penis
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
