Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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