you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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