So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize