I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
