So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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