Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
