i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
where does the pee come out of this thing
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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