I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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