tell your sister to shave her snatch
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
