I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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