its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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