Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
